


Too Bad That Didn't Kill Me

by PandorasBox (AdriannaRhode)



Series: Writer's Block Multifandom Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Prompt Fic, also kageyama has a tumblr, be good parents like dai and suga, hinata just wants to be loved, kind of crack not gonna lie, protip: don't let your kids get hit by a bus, tsukki loves his fatalistic memes, yamaguchi is not sorry ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriannaRhode/pseuds/PandorasBox
Summary: “The nice thing about getting hit by a car is that I’ll actually feel something for once.”(Prompt Fill)





	Too Bad That Didn't Kill Me

**Author's Note:**

> In order to cope with a severe bout of writer's block and seasonal depression, I've been taking prompts and suggestions for short drabbles. This was one of them, from my lovely sister. The prompt, listed above, is a quote from one of her best friends and it made me giggle. Enjoy!!

“If any of you get lost, I’m not coming to find you!” Daichi barked, as the Karasuno volleyball team filed off the bus.

From the back of the group came a sarcastic reply, “Yes, Dad.”

Tsukishima glared at the offender, Nishinoya, as the tiny libero snickered to Tanaka. He had no idea what possessed Daichi and Sugawara to let them go sightseeing alone in Tokyo, but there they were. Off to a terrible start, too.

And then Hinata and Kageyama got off the bus.

“We’re in Tokyo~!” Hinata screeched.

Tsukishima brought down a fist hard on the top of his head. “Volume, shrimp.”

“Don’t touch him,” Kageyama said peevishly.

“Possessive now, King?”

“Fuck off, Shittyshima.”

Tsukishima hummed, “So eloquent. A master of language, truly.”

“Fucking nerd.”

Hinata just laughed, “You’re both no fun.”

“And you’re hyperactive,” replied Tsukishima.

“I’m excited!”

“We’ve been to Tokyo literally a dozen times,” Tsukishima argued, in spite of himself.

“And it’s exciting every time!”

“Ugh.”

“Tsukki, lighten up,” said Yamaguchi.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

He didn’t look very sorry, though.

By this point, Hinata was practically vibrating as he danced in a circle around Kageyama, who glared down at him with an incredible amount of patience. Tsukishima was almost impressed.

“For the love of God, please don’t get run over,” Suga groaned, glancing their way.

Before he could stop himself, Tsukishima was saying, thoughtfully, “The nice thing about getting hit by a car is that I’ll actually feel something for once.”

Silence.

After thirty seconds, it got weird. Everyone’s eyes were on Tsukishima, who was really wishing that he had continued his time-honored practice of never sharing his thoughts with the team ever.

Sugawara spoke first.

“Do you…need help?”

“Like psychiatric help,” clarified Ennoshita.

“No,” said Tsukishima quickly.

Daichi chose that moment to join the Worry Squad, brow furrowed. “That was a little extreme.”

Tsukishima shrugged, “I’m usually wishing for the sweet release of death.”

Beside him, Yamaguchi barely stifled a laugh.

“That’s really morbid, Tsukki.”

“Yamaguchi, _please_.”

“Sorry.”

“You don’t sound fucking sorry.”

Yamaguchi chuckled, “That’s because I’m not.”

Great. Even his best friend was ganging up on him. That was the last time Tsukishima would talk in front of his team. From that moment on, he was Tsukishima, the guy who Never Spoke. Not even to time a block. They could lose every game from now on, for all he cared. It admittedly would have been a bigger promise if he was particularly talkative in the first place. Which he wasn’t.

But as he mulled over his new pact of silence, Asahi came forward and took one of Tsukishima’s hands in his own.

“If you need help, just ask for it,” said the ace.

“Oh my God, I don’t need help!” exclaimed Tsukishima, pulling away. “It’s like you people have never heard fatalistic humor before.”

“That sounds like some Tumblr shit, Tsukishima,” said Kageyama solemnly. 

Tsukishima made an unintelligible noise, and edged toward the setter with malice in his eyes. “I swear, Your Highness, one of these days I’m gonna-”

“Okay, we’re moving on,” Daichi said firmly, “Tsukishima, stop being depressed.”

“Daichi, you ignorant slut!” said Sugawara.

“That’s not how it works!” wailed Tanaka.

Nishinoya nodded, “Tsukki, it gets better. Don’t listen to Daichi. He doesn’t understand.”

“Noya, your only emotions are Angry and More Angry, it’s not like you understand, either,” said Ennoshita dryly. 

“I wasn’t gonna kill myself earlier but now I just might!” said Tsukishima, exasperated. 

“Tsukki!!!” Hinata cried. 

“God, you gremlin, what?” 

“If you die, then I’ll be the only first year middle blocker.”

Tsukishima just stared at him. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“…And I will DEFINITELY get my nose broken by Kuroo-senpai.”

“It could only help that ugly mug.”

But Hinata started begging in earnest, “TSUKISHIMA. PLEASE DON’T DIE I DON’T WANT KUROO-SENPAI TO DISFIGURE ME I-”

In the end, it took the combined efforts of Tanaka, Daichi, and Coach Ukai to keep Tsukishima from lying down in the street and getting run over by the team bus.

**Author's Note:**

> Short and sweet. If you guys have any other ideas that you want filled with a lil baby drabble, please leave em below. And check out the rest of this prompt fill series! It's all different shows, so it's sure to be exciting! Love you guys!!


End file.
